Imagine ... you have just watched your friend open a present you lovingly wrapped, eyes wide with anticipation, only to see their smile slowly freeze into a tight-lipped grin as they murmur, “Oh… wow. That’s… thoughtful.”
Ouch. You’ve done it. You’ve gifted the unforgettable awkward present.
Now, I love giving gifts, especially the ones that make people light up with genuine surprise. I'm that person who listens closely during random conversations for clues. You’ll say something like, “I’ve always wanted to try calligraphy,” and boom, months later you’re unwrapping a calligraphy starter set with a personalised ink bottle. That’s my love language.
But as much as I adore meaningful gifts, I’ve also seen plenty of well-intentioned ones go horribly wrong. Let’s be real: some gifts are not just thoughtless – they’re outright inappropriate. So here’s a friendly guide on what not to give people– and importantly, what you could do instead to make them feel genuinely seen, loved, and celebrated.
1. Anti-Ageing Creams and Wrinkle Serums
👎 Why not? Unless they specifically rave about that £80 retinol cream, this gift shouts, “You look like you need help.”
🎁 Give this instead: A luxurious face mask or a voucher for a pampering spa visit – framed as self-care, not age-defence. Or better yet, a handwritten note with compliments about how they radiate joy and wisdom.
2. Gym Memberships or Weight Loss Subscriptions
👎 Why not? Even if well-meant, it can feel like you’re pointing out a flaw.
🎁 Give this instead: A pass for a dance class, hiking day out, or yoga session – something joyful and active without the pressure.
3. Scales
👎 Why not? You may as well gift a “Before” photo.
🎁 Give this instead: A self-love journal, or a beautiful water bottle for daily hydration – healthy but encouraging.
4. Leather Goods (for Hindu Friends)
👎 Why not? Cows are sacred in Hinduism, and leather can be offensive.
🎁 Give this instead: A gorgeous cruelty-free or vegan leather alternative. More and more ethical brands offer stunning options.
5. Clocks or Watches (for Chinese Friends)
👎 Why not? In Chinese culture, gifting clocks is associated with death – not exactly festive. It sounds like attending a funeral ritual, which is associated with parting. It's considered extremely inauspicious, particularly for elders.
🎁 Give this instead: A beautiful photo frame, a plant, or even a stylish piece of decor for their home.
6. Sharp Objects (Knives / Swiss Army Knife; Scissors)
👎 Why not? These can symbolise cutting ties or relationships.
🎁 Give this instead: A gift card to their favourite homeware shop so they can choose something safely.
7. Religious Items (To Those of Different Faiths)
👎 Why not? You could unintentionally be crossing a line or imposing beliefs.
🎁 Give this instead: A candle with an uplifting message, or a book with universally comforting thoughts.
8. Cleaning Supplies or Cookware (Unasked)
👎 Why not? It feels practical, not personal – and assumes they’re the housework type.
🎁 Give this instead: A beautiful cookbook from a cuisine they love, or a gourmet ingredients kit if they’re a foodie.
9. Self-Help Books (Unsolicited)
👎 Why not? Feels like you're saying they need fixing.
🎁 Give this instead: A feel-good fiction novel, or something that aligns with their known interests – not their flaws.
10. “Funny” T-Shirts With Sarcasm
👎 Why not? Humour is subjective – and sometimes, stings.
🎁 Give this instead: A custom T-shirt with an inside joke you both share – something genuinely meaningful.
11. Perfume or Aftershave (Unfamiliar)
👎 Why not? Scents are super personal and easily wrong.
🎁 Give this instead: A candle in a scent you know they love, or a gift voucher to a fragrance shop for a custom experience.
12. Pet-Themed Gifts (If They Don’t Have One)
👎 Why not? Gifting a pet or even hinting at one is never a good surprise.
🎁 Give this instead: A donation to an animal charity in their name if they love animals – thoughtful, no commitment.
13. Cash (Depending on Culture)
👎 Why not? Feels cold and impersonal, especially in certain cultures.
🎁 Give this instead: A prepaid experience – like a meal at a restaurant they love, or tickets to an event.
14. Culturally “Unlucky” Flowers
👎 Why not? White flowers for many Asian cultures = funerals. Yellow flowers in France = jealousy.
🎁 Give this instead: A cheerful houseplant, or a floral-themed gift without the risk of meaning misinterpretation.
15. Alcohol (Uncertain Recipient)
👎 Why not? It could go against their beliefs, sobriety, or health.
🎁 Give this instead: An artisanal non-alcoholic drink or mocktail set – inclusive and classy.
16. Detox Kits or Slimming Teas
👎 Why not? It’s like saying, “Here’s a digestive cleanse, because clearly…”
🎁 Give this instead: A calming herbal tea selection, or a self-care hamper with snacks, candles, and a book.
17. Re-Gifted Items (Obvious Ones)
👎 Why not? If it smells dusty or has last year’s card in the box, it’s not fooling anyone.
🎁 Give this instead: A handmade item – even a simple framed quote or your own baked goods goes a long way.
18. Grooming Tools (Nose Hair Trimmers etc.)
👎 Why not? It says “I noticed your nostrils.” Ew.
🎁 Give this instead: A luxe skincare sample set or a pampering gift (or spa visit voucher) that says “treat yourself,” not “sort yourself out.”
19. Gag Gifts That Mock Real Issues
👎 Why not? Laughing about someone’s anxiety or divorce? Just don’t.
🎁 Give this instead: Something comforting and sincere. A soft blanket, a journal, or just a kind card.
20. Generic, Rushed Gifts
👎 Why not? Last-minute petrol station chocolates or dodgy candles say “I forgot.”
🎁 Give this instead: If you’ve got time, create something personal (see more below). Honestly – it doesn’t have to be expensive, just heartfelt.
Always remember: gifts are about the other person, not you. I love surprising people during random moments – not just birthdays or holidays – with things they casually mentioned loving. A specific tea they adored in a foreign country, a book they said they’d read if only they could find it, a tote bag with a phrase they once said that made us both laugh.
That’s the good stuff.
But giving something inappropriate – even unintentionally – can be more hurtful than not giving anything at all. So before wrapping up that “funny” gift, think about whether it brings joy to them, not just to you.
What Makes a Gift Really Special?
Here’s a little secret: it’s not the price tag, it’s the personal touch. If you have time – and photos – you can create something so meaningful it’ll stay with them forever.
I’ve made several personalised albums for family over the years. Filled them with funny, heartfelt, and beautiful photos, and added:
Uplifting quotes
Compliments and private jokes
Affirmations for self-love
Words of courage for when they’re struggling
The title? Something like:
“50 Reasons Why You’re a Brilliant Mum / Child / Spouse / Friend”
They cry. Every time. Happy tears, obviously.
And it’s not just about looking back, it’s a gift they can keep going back to when they need a reminder of who they are and how loved they are.
So… What Should You Take From All This?
Personalise it. Make it thoughtful. And most importantly – think about them, not you.
If you’re not sure what they want? Ask. Or listen. Really listen. People drop hints all the time – they just don’t realise it.
Avoid the awkward, skip the generic, and aim for gifts that make people feel truly seen. Because those are the ones they’ll remember.
If you know someone who might find this helpful, don’t keep it to yourself—please share it.
You never know how much of a difference it could make in someone’s life.
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